My Social Battery Broke My Game Enjoyment

I love games. I really enjoy a good RPG with good characters and an interesting story. For a few years though I’ve struggled to really enjoy them. I thought it was me getting older, having seen stories twists coming from a mile away, or not having enough time to really engage with the characters as I’ve got kids to take care of. Maybe the games writing was just getting worse or any of another hundred reasons I just didn’t feel good about my playtime.

In a desperate attempt to find a game that I knew would be good I looked back to older games that I really enjoyed years ago in the hopes of enjoying those stories again. I reinstalled a classic Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. It was more clunky than I remember, and the tutorial characters chewed the walls but I enjoyed it. I was having a good time and really enjoyed being in that world again.

After a decent amount of time, 16 hours+, I’m still having fun. And then one day I try to play and its annoying, I don’t want to talk to the NPC’s or go into new rooms as there will be more people for me to talk too…and I just cannot handle it.

What happened? Did the game cheat me? Did some update break everything? Nope. It was my social battery had been drained and I was experiencing a social hangover. I try to be aware of my mood and make sure I’m honest and telling people around me when I’m in a bad mood. This was a game, a supposedly safe space where I could be someone else consequence free from the real world but I was here dragging my insecurities into that world.

For the future I am unsure as to what this realisation actually means. Am I now going to have to be in a good mood to play games, rather than using games to achieve a good mood? Will I need personal space away from NPC’s before I can engage with the story again? It feels surreal and debilitating that entertainment cannot be a way to get me out of a bad mood.

I’m going to endeavour to keep playing games, but be aware that they might be getting a bad wrap from myself if I’m just a bit drained.